闪小说•《英子》作者:廖东平

廖东平

<p class="ql-block">  妈来电,多次催我结婚,这次我应承了。说春节一定带一个媳妇回家。</p><p class="ql-block">  我和英子包了一部出租车,从深圳回我故乡粤北山城。</p><p class="ql-block">  汽车在山路巅簸,车窗外淅淅沥沥地下起了小雨,英子甜蜜地依偎在我怀里,就像婴儿熟睡在摇篮中。</p><p class="ql-block">  突然,汽车在急转弯时,翻下了一个小山坡……</p><p class="ql-block">  司机手臂骨折,我擦伤了头皮。英子脸色发青,看上去没什么大碍。只是攥在手里准备送给妈的玉手镯跌碎了。英子手里捏着半弯残镯流下了两行泪,我将她搂进怀里,无言的安慰。</p><p class="ql-block">  在一个乡村的小诊所里,医生忙着救治痛得嗷嗷叫的司机和我。</p><p class="ql-block">  这时,英子声音微弱地说:东,我肚子很痛……</p><p class="ql-block">  英子话没说完己软绵绵地倒在我怀里,我伸手一摸,她肚子肿涨如皮球。</p><p class="ql-block">  “医生,医生!”我大声地叫着,可是,一切都晚了。英子是内伤,肝脏破裂,引发大量内出血。</p><p class="ql-block">  窗外的雨下得更大了。</p><p class="ql-block">“英子,英子!”我紧紧地抱着她,大声地呼唤着:“你听见了吗,我们要回家呀,知道吗?!”</p><p class="ql-block">半弯残镯,安静地躺在雨声喧嚣的夜里。</p> <p class="ql-block">《英子》写的是一对恋人在即将结婚的春节返家途中遭遇车祸的悲凉故事,作者对情绪和气氛营造得非常到位,故事凄美,一波三折,文字清丽,令人惆怅。回家的喜悦与车祸的悲剧,形成强烈反差。结尾处“窗外的雨下得更大了”、“ 半弯残镯,安静地躺在雨声喧嚣的夜里”,这些描写看似闲笔,实则是烘托气氛,表达男主人公分外痛苦的内心世界。</p> <p>廖东平参加第三届E拇指手机文学大赛,评委评论廖东平:</p><p>文风百变,痴情不变,时而哀怨缠绵,时而智慧洒脱。其作品《人贵有自知之明》,寥寥数字,勾勒世相,让人会心一笑,《英子》用平淡的语调来表达刻骨铭心的感情,感动了网友,也感动了评委。</p><p><br></p><p>《英子》获第三届E拇指手机文学大赛“月度最具人气作品奖”</p> <h3>憨憨老叟点评:</h3><h3>在还没看到这篇作品之前,东平兄就在我们共同所在的Q群里先预播了这篇闪小说的精彩广告。他说,这是一篇真实得催人泪下的小说。当时我还打趣地回复说,从这一刻起,我就酝酿感情和催化泪腺,等待在观看此文时一举喷涌而出。当这一幕生离死别的爱情故事,血淋淋地展现在我的面前时,果真一下子就戳中了我的泪点。爱人在怀而芳魂已逝,佳期演成遥遥无期,那种剜心蚀骨之痛,纵是傲世奇人也禁受不起,更何况他只是凡身一个。</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>骚风老师点评:</h3><h3>小说要真实还是虚构,这是一个问题,当然这已经被人解读过无数次,艺术创作确实是要虚构的。我同意人间兄提到的关于小说结尾的设计,向温暖,向希望,但是东平兄有自己的艺术审美及追求,个人觉得这与事情的真实与虚构无关——东平兄的文字,总是能制造紧张,激烈的气氛,短短的文字就带读者经历了一次心灵历险,这应该是小说需要追求的效果。</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>安静老师点评:</h3><h3>人生最大的悲哀,莫不过于生离死别。文字虽短,我能感受到作者内心莫大的伤痛,乃至今天回忆起来,仍边写边落泪。不是作者眼泪浅,是因为情到深处不自知。文中两处细节描写,精炼点睛,一处是“只是攥在手里,准备送给妈的玉手镯跌碎。英子手里捏着一弯残镯流下了二行泪”一个善良的女子跃然纸上。一处是卫生所里,医生忙着医治嗷嗷叫的司机和我,英子说肚子痛,隐忍的英子,叫人心疼。作者文中还埋下伏笔,如英子的脸色描写,妙!</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>心灵拾贝老师点评:</h3><h3>善良的英子, 美好的爱情, 随着出租车,载着甜蜜幸福奔向老家,眼看妈妈的愿望就要实现了,作者笔锋一转,由一起车祸, 将最美好的,一下子打破得粉碎,将最有希望的,一下变得没有任何希望,不管你愿不愿意,不管你接不接受, 数百字,就这样震住了你, 读罢是心痛与泪流满面。</h3><h3><br></h3><h3>红红的雨老师点评:</h3><h3>儿女成大了,父母最关心的就是他们的婚姻大事了。春节带个媳妇回家也是带着一份孝心回家,给父母一个惊喜。“突然,汽车在急转弯时,翻下了一个小山坡……”还真没有想到灾难就来了。“英子手里捏着一弯残镯流下了二行泪,”多么善良的姑娘。原本是欢欢喜喜地回家过年,没有想到一个悲剧收场。短短的小说,不到四百字,就有典型的环境中的完整的故事情节和结局,值得我学习。</h3><h3><br></h3> <h3>《英子》被翻译英文,选入《英译当代中国闪小说精选集》在国外发行,下面是《英子》英文版:</h3><h3>Yingzi</h3><h3><h3>Liao Dongping</h3><h3><br></h3></h3><h3>After mom’s numerous calls urging me to get married, I finally promised to bring her daughter-in-law back home for this Spring Festival.</h3><h3>Yingzi and I rented a taxi which would take us from Shenzhen to my home town in the mountainous area of northern Guangdong. The taxi was bumping along the mountain road. Outside, it was drizzling real steady. Yingzi was leaning against my chest sweetly, as if a baby were soundly sleeping in the cradle, when suddenly the taxi swerved abruptly and rolled down the slope.</h3><h3>The driver’s arm was fractured; I had my scalp scraped; Yingzi looked blue, seemingly not badly injured, except that the jade bracelet seized in her hand as a present to my mom was broken. Yingzi pinched the remaining of the bracelet, tears streaming down, as I held her in my arms, comforting her in silence.</h3><h3>At a small village clinic, the doctor was busy relieving the terrible pain the driver and I had suffered when Yingzi suddenly said in a faint voice, “I’ve got an awful pain in my stomach.” With this, she fell limply into my arms. Reaching my hand, I felt her stomach as bulgy as a ball.</h3><h3>“Doctor! Doctor!” I screamed. But it was too late. Yingzi was largely bleeding inside. It was raining harder outside.</h3>