华夏微型诗社530期周周发同题

微诗工作坊

<p class="ql-block">@所有人</p><p class="ql-block">华夏微型诗社第530期周周发同题创作开始了。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"> 欢迎诗友们参与微型诗写作!请早日构思打磨!</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">备注:</p><p class="ql-block">1、投稿、收稿时间:</p><p class="ql-block">2025年2月18日晚上7点——10点。</p><p class="ql-block">2、每人选投一首微型诗。</p><p class="ql-block">3、请单独发帖,不要自行接龙,由岐麟散人老师统一收稿。</p><p class="ql-block">4、稿件选编到美篇,并由诗社老师予以点评。</p><p class="ql-block">5、本期题目:</p><p class="ql-block">①《迎春花》</p><p class="ql-block">②《脚步》</p><p class="ql-block">6.出题老师:二海</p><p class="ql-block">7、交流时可交流两首,投稿时只选投一首,收稿只收一首,点评也只点评一首。</p><p class="ql-block">8.优秀作品推荐“微诗坊”。</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">顺序1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/丹霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">目送冬姑娘远去</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">你初装上镜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">笑容绽开</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:拟人生动,还可细腻些。。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/陈兴茂</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">北风施余威</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">吹醒翠蔓泛金黄</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">远溢清香 送来幸福吉祥</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:首行本是实话,但在诗中,格调上与后面不相配。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/三星望月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">抖落一袖残霜 怯怯地</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">张开鹅黄的手指 指着 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">啄破柳枝褐色的柳芽儿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:描写细腻如画,拟人生动。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/岐麟散人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">绽放在阡陌幽径旁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">暖煦的风</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">轻拂冬寒 唤醒二月之光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:"绽放"、"轻拂"、"唤醒",动词连贯生动。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/雪儿怀春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">风在吼雪飘逸</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">带动盎然生机挺身而出</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">给暖季添色增彩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:抒情自然流畅!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚印</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/吉新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">在暮色里更加昏沉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一只挨着一只</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">变成了问号</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:"暮色"降临,那本是不可抗拒的自然规律,而人或人类从呱呱坠地开始,活着,脚印必然是″一只挨着一只"向前走!本首,诗人以旁观者的视觉,掺杂个人情感″更加昏沉",描摹所见到的"一只挨着一只/变成了问号",释放出悲鸣茫然的情愫与思考,思考什么呢?生命?!可是脚印一直在继续或延续,暮色只是阶段,明天依然"一只挨着一只"!读来有《登幽州台》的味道!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/墨客吟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">聘请高端的礼仪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">接待二月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">喜悦挂在脸上傻笑</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:想象新颖贴切,"傻笑"二字的背后表面是无忧无虑,轻松,放得开,实则一直以来沉底的″心事"终于浮出开奖,了了心愿,激动忘形!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文 绿色</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">带上勇气前行</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">鲜花、彩虹或者荆棘、霹雳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">都是沿途的风景</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域简评:"脚步"这个主题好像是名词,但在意识里似乎在"动",因为只有迈出行动,才有"脚步"。本首诗人基于此,不仅抒发了梦想,同时也展现出诗人成熟的认知及积极坚韧的心态,立意佳。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">顺序2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/剑风使者</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">料峭里。一枚清瘦的春色</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">镶嵌在</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">二月的鬓角</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句点出季节特征,引出迎春花,“镶嵌”有力量感,末句用拟人手法,形象生动。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/八乡人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">无需娇艳欲滴</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">也不香气袭人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一抹阳光便笑容可掬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 诗人用朴实的语言大赞特赞迎春花。“无需、也不”写出迎春花的朴素与其貌不扬,末句拟人,增强了微诗的趣味感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/康秀炎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">鹅黄的初妆 羞答答</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一开口</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">就吐露了春的心事</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句很有画面感,二三句巧妙运用拟人手法,引发读者思考。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/阳光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不等鹅黄柳绿</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">先美丽一下</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">二月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 语言精炼,言简意赅,写出迎春花开的时间,“美丽”一词耐人寻味。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/付光渝</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">寒枝抖落最后一片雪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春天在裂缝中醒来</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">金黄的笑声 点亮了整条街</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 拟人手法,给予迎春花生命力,“金黄的笑声”诗人用移就的修辞手法,把花的颜色(视觉)变成笑声(听觉),耳目一新。全诗意境优美,“抖落、醒”动词让诗作灵动而唯美。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/晨曦拾梦</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">从冰层下探出头</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">打翻蝴蝶的调色盘</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">沉睡的大地开始悄悄发芽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 微诗层次感强,采用拟人与移就的修辞手法,写活了不一般的迎春花,“发芽”点题,言简意丰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/森林雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">崖畔岭上,绽在扉页的那抹相思</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">风摇心动</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">那双亮眸子,你我如初见</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 不管条件多么艰苦,迎春花永远是春天的第一道风景。微诗用拟人手法,把迎春花比成一位美貌仙子,让人心动。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/东方虹雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">微风穿梭 织一堤鹅黄</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">满山的杜鹃</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">争相拉开 春天的序曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人浅读:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “一堤鹅黄”点出迎春花的生存环境与颜色,很有画面感,二句借“杜鹃”又营造了一个大环境,多意象结合,让微诗唯美。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">顺序3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/古道白杨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">雪还未褪去</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">就着急忙慌登上二月舞台</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">热烈 嫩黄的语言</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 铺垫到位,拟人精彩,“热烈/嫩黄的语言”新颖别致,提升有力!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/巴山一松</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">只一丛,插上山的发髻</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">媒就做成了</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂飞蝶舞,人纷至</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 只一丛,以小博大,富有冲击力;插上山的发髻,妙句,出新;尾句浑然天成,自然流畅。整首作品新颖独到,美不胜收。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/心开</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">嫩黄愀然,苔米随园</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">造型摆拍了香云</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">几朵恣意潇洒的逍遥</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 诗语灵动唯美,虚实结合,作品以嫩黄、苔米、香云喻迎春花,形神俱到,赏心悦目。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/小乙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迈出蓬勃,生机一窝窝充盈</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">芳香撒满田野</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">路上,印着春的自信、自豪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 春的脚步,给人崭新的精神风貌,“生机一窝窝充盈”佳句。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/蔡厚炳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一月月 一年年</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">追寻城里月光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">荒芜的村庄 在啜泣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 沉重的脚步,悲悯的情怀。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/赵正霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">梦里 念叨你的名字 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">叫醒一段时光 花仙子下凡</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">芬芳了万家寒窗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 以花为媒,有所寄托,“叫醒一段时光”给人遐想。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">串串红心连起时空</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不求金光环绕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">只愿奶黄和清香永伴</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 摹形寄情,让花有了更丰富的内涵。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/张士杰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">寒风未尽 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">你已悄然绽放 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一抹金黄 点亮了冬的尾声</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞长风简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 这一抹金黄,来得恰是时候。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">顺序4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/空谷幽兰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">东风一路欢畅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">抛洒情思万缕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">开封窖藏的花事</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 以东风为切入点展开诗题,欢快流畅,但略显概括。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎 春 花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/晗羲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春光为序</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">冬梅笑迎百花艳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蝶卧春风香,醉在花蕊中</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 迎春花,作者笔下不单指一种花,可理解为迎春之花,包括冬梅,包括百花,以细节呈现画面,写出百花盛开的春光美景。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/周其林</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">哪吒拉开帷幕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">滨滨妮妮点燃礼花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">属于我们的春天 来了</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 《哪吒2》是今年春节很火的一部电影,这里的细节承载特殊的意义。微诗前两句写实,尾句虚实相生,喜悦里给人信心和希望。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/家乡小河</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春寒料峭,芽苞欲笑</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">雨水织彩衣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">布谷声声投身烟雨……</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 多个意象多个画面去呈现象诗题,写春天之景,春天之脚步,建议“雨水”“烟雨”重复,可修改一下。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">江南风/杭州</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">阳光,扶稳每一个身影</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">从晨钟到暮鼓</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">深浅出,两行生命的长歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 尾句“深浅出,两行生命的长歌”去切诗题脚步。微诗意在展现老年生活,有血有肉。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/往往醉后</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">青石板那足音</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔藓 能泄露</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">月光的行踪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “足音”“行踪”两词有“脚步”的影子。能读出微诗那种失落的情感,但有点不连贯。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/老妖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">风轻移惊醒花仙子</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">美娇容也需华丽服饰装扮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">留下香气宜人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 微诗是否在写人(美娇容)受花仙子之感触而精心打扮自己,想像花一样“留下香气宜人”?有点混乱!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/王建刚</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">沉默的叙事者,每一步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">都是自己与风的对话</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">和生活的碎片,相遇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 想到谁是那“沉默的叙事者”,就读懂了这偏向说理的三行。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">顺序5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/书虫</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春风轻悄悄地来,绿了江南</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">又驻足每个人的内心</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">留下,芬芳印记</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 写春风的脚步。这个切入点是新鲜的。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">微诗由春风的到来,从远景,写整个江南之绿。化用诗句“春风又绿江南岸。”自然、妥帖。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">可喜之处,后面写人,写自己的心境和感觉。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/二海</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">几朵小黄花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">悄悄挤破 春天的肚皮</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">同风儿一起踏青</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 以小见大。写春天的景象,一派生机勃勃画面,走进读者视野。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迎春花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/飞马</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">憋了一冬的心事</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">开口,就爆出个新闻——</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">大地 醒了</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 这朵“迎春花”漂亮!花蕾时憋着,沉默着,有小心事了!花朵绽放,芳唇轻启,公布重大消息:大地 醒了。这四个字预示春天的欣欣向荣,花团锦簇,生机盎然时候将要到了。春天是孕育生命,萌发美好的季节。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">微诗言短意长,不落俗套,以简驭繁,很好表达了主旨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/绿柳枫</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">Ai在代码丛林中奔跑</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">数据喂养的智慧</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">踏响时代创新的强音</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> Al人工智能的发展,方便了人们,同时也给人们带来了困惑。怎样合理应用,为社会,为个人服务,也是一个新命题,值得大家探讨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">微诗紧扣如今的热门话题。赞扬了Al技术,对时代发展的强大助力!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">脚步</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/随风</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">临近的钟声</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">把黎明敲醒</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">小草破土露出了头</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星简评:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 诗语自然,流畅是微诗应该提倡的。不好理解。</span></p>