The Runaway

Frances 🏰

继续翻译小游戏。北半球渐渐走入冬天，应该离下雪的日子不远了。本周选一首有趣的诗，诗中描绘一匹小马驹在雪天逃跑的场景，相比之下，人在困境中会有什么表现？期待好译! The Runaway, By Robert FrostOnce when the snow of the year was beginning to fall,We stopped by a mountain pasture to say 'Whose colt?'A little Morgan had one forefoot on the wall,The other curled at his breast. He dipped his headAnd snorted at us. And then he had to bolt.We heard the miniature thunder where he fled,And we saw him, or thought we saw him, dim and grey,Like a shadow against the curtain of falling flakes.'I think the little fellow's afraid of the snow.He isn't winter-broken. It isn't playWith the little fellow at all. He's running away.I doubt if even his mother could tell him, "Sakes,It's only weather". He'd think she didn't know !Where is his mother? He can't be out alone.'And now he comes again with a clatter of stoneAnd mounts the wall again with whited eyesAnd all his tail that isn't hair up straight.He shudders his coat as if to throw off flies.'Whoever it is that leaves him out so late,When other creatures have gone to stall and bin,Ought to be told to come and take him in.' The Runaway《出逃者》By Robert FrostOnce when the snow of the year was beginning to fall,曾经当那一年的雪开始纷扬，We stopped by a mountain pasture to say 'Whose colt?'我们停留在山中牧场，说到“谁家的小马驹？”A little Morgan had one forefoot on the wall,摩根小马一只前蹄踩着墙，The other curled at his breast. He dipped his head另一只蜷缩在胸膛。他的头低垂And snorted at us. And then he had to bolt.向我们喷着鼻息，然后狂奔而去We heard the miniature thunder where he fled,我们听到从他逃跑处传来微型惊雷。And we saw him, or thought we saw him, dim and grey,我们见到他，或者以为我们见到他，朦胧而且灰暗Like a shadow against the curtain of falling flakes.仿佛飘落的雪片帷幕后的一道阴影'I think the little fellow's afraid of the snow.我想这小家伙害怕雪，He isn't winter-broken. It isn't play他还没有经历过冬天，这可不是玩闹With the little fellow at all. 对这小家伙而言。He's running away.他正在出逃。I doubt if even his mother 我怀疑他的母亲会否could tell him, "Sakes,告诉他“我要说It's only weather". He'd 这不过是天气”. 他会think she didn't know !以为她根本不知道！Where is his mother? He 他的妈妈在哪呢？他can't be out alone.'不能独自出行”.And now he comes again 这会儿他又来了with a clatter of stone踏得石头哗哗有声And mounts the wall again他又上了墙with whited eyes泛白的眼睛And all his tail that isn't hair up straight.尾巴毛发没有直立上翘He shudders his coat as if to throw off flies.他抖动披风似乎要赶走苍蝇'Whoever it is that leaves him out so late,无论是谁让他如此之晚在外置留When other creatures have gone to stall and bin,当其他动物都已回到马厩和箱巢Ought to be told to come and take him in.'应该被告知把他带走。—-Tran by Frances 30/11/24 牧场雪落见马驹：一蹄踏墙一蜷曲，低头一“哼”速逃离。但闻轻雷那边起，仿佛见他身模糊，窗帘雪落有踪迹。“未经冬天不知雪？吓破小胆把命逃。”妈妈能否劝得住？ “天气变化！不需怕！” 或疑妈妈没搞懂!咦！妈妈怎能不陪他？瞧瞧他又跑回来，踩得石乱真嘈杂，眼珠泛白又踩墙。尾巴未挺因胆小，身袍直抖若赶蝇。甭管怪谁，天已晚，虎豹归林鸟归巢；带他回家最要紧。—贾德星译 逃亡—Robert Frost当年曾经雪飘逸山间牧场遇小驹墙上小马前足立摩根后足缩胸底逃前低头喷鼻息轻声传雷逃避处黯淡灰昏小马驹落雪花帘似影子雪伴小驹无游戏恐惧逃亡在冬季纵然母驹慰小驹疑似天气母未知孤驹寻母何处去归来雷声哗如石白眼爬墙无翘翅恰似抖袍甩蝇子晚出马驹当归厩正如他畜回巢时-translated by ZWU 2024.11.30 《沁园春幼驹初雪》试译罗伯特·弗罗斯特《The Runaway》 （还是读诗感想式）牧场山间，茫茫飘琼，惊见乌骓。似摩根驹幼，平生初雪，仰胸垂首，踏壁提蹄。响鼻嘶嘶，奔雷脱兔，暗影如虚掠素飞。害初雪，激本能天性，躲避霏霏。难逃漫漫无涯，目眦白，铮铮无奈归，悯尾鬃不举，躯袍摇抖，家慈何在，可解余危？百兽无踪，冰霜尤紧，牧者应来带汝回。经历练，待璇花再现，镇定如仪 交作业出逃者By Robert Frost山间牧场冬雪飞， 谁家马驹欲奋蹄？ 踏墙低首抚胸扉， 疾去如雷影渐灰。初历严冬不识危， 心惊尚未解母悲。 独踏碎石翻墙回， 垂尾顺目抖霜衣。夜深谁知驹在外， 万物归巢莫久违。- Xiaohong捣乱译2024.12.1. 试译弗罗斯特诗“奔跑的小马”The Runaway, By Robert Frost吴以之今年的第一场雪刚开始纷纷落下此时我停步于山间牧场旁边惊讶地发现：“这是谁家的小马驹呀？”一匹娇小的摩根马驹把一条前腿蹬在低矮的围墙上另一条前腿蜷曲在胸前并把头垂下它朝我打了一个响鼻然后突然逃走啦！我听到它的蹄声犹如一阵轻雷我看不清它，只看见一道朦胧的灰影就像一道阴影在雪白的幕布上投下我想这小家伙见到雪感到有点害怕吧它没有经历过冬天冬天毕竟不是跟这小家伙闹着玩的呀！它正在向远处奔跑我怀疑她的妈妈是否给他说过“别害怕，这不过是天气的变化。”但是它觉得妈妈没有懂得它。它的妈妈在哪儿呢？不可以让它独自离开家！现在它又返回来了马蹄儿踏着碎石哒哒哒哒它又把前腿蹬在矮墙上白眼儿眨巴眨巴垂下毛茸茸的尾巴它使劲抖动身子好像要把身上的苍蝇抖下“谁竟然让它跑出去玩到这么晚？其他的牲畜和家禽都早已回到圈里和窝里啦！我一定要告诉它的主人来把它领回家！”对这首诗的理解诗里有一匹小马驹和一个好心人。小马驹翻阅矮墙去见识冬雪，憨态可掬。它是有点害怕但主要是好奇。好心人对小马驹的关爱也令人感到温暖。总之这是一篇有真挚感情的叙事诗，有美好的画面，包括雪花纷飞的场景，和小马驹自由欢快的动态，也有游人的善良，对动物的关爱，细腻的心理活动。这种描写让人读来感到亲切，受到心灵的净化。翻译心得翻译应该是在读懂原诗之后，用自己的语言把原诗表达的内容准确地流畅地写出来，成为优美的汉语诗。不能是字词语句的机械对应。因为诗词受到韵律的限制，原诗字词语句有些地方不得不屈从于格律的要求而异于寻常。如果翻译时硬译直译可能就会感到别扭。因此翻译时要适当地有所变通，力求意思准确，语句流畅。这首诗的押韵没有仔细对应原诗，只是比较松散地押了韵。押韵的韵脚是“下呀下啦下怕呀化它家哒巴巴下啦家”这些字。“a”的韵母使整首诗读起来比较轻松亲切好玩。2024-12-1吴 转网上关于马的行为的信息：1.愤怒不安的马会甩动尾巴，是烦躁的表现，警告其他马不要靠近。 2.如果周围蚊虫很多，甩动尾巴就是驱赶小虫子的自然反应。 3.垂着尾巴——通常在遇到狗时，马会因为害怕，尾巴夹在两腿间摇晃。 4.扣前蹄——轻轻扣蹄，表示马不舒适、烦躁，或只是兴奋地想动一动。重重扣蹄，则通常是愤怒或恐惧的信号。5 尥蹶子——是嬉闹的表现，通常伴随耳朵向后和嘶鸣。年轻马会在草地里这样玩耍。 6.尥蹶子也表示害怕和不明状况，这在儿马第一次接受调教时尤为明显，毕竟不熟悉的重量压在身上。一般在尥蹶子前马尾会弯曲。起扬——也是有两面性的行为。既是小马驹在草地上嬉闹的表现，也是愤怒公马的战斗模式，表现出无法摆脱困境时的害怕。 编后：这首亲切的叙事诗使得大多数译者不约而同地选择了翻译+再创作的方式，把风雪中小马驹的故事娓娓道来。 以上译文按发表时间顺序编排，图片来源网络。