教育：爱与榜样的传承，从改变自己开始

神龙广域

在孩子成长的漫长旅程中，父母扮演着至关重要的作用，其影响力如同灯塔，指引着孩子前行的方向。然而，许多父母却在不经意间陷入了教育的泥沼，让孩子的成长之路布满荆棘，最终自己也陷入无尽的悔恨之中。

父母在教育初期常以一些看似合理的理由推脱责任，这些理由却如同慢性毒药，侵蚀着教育的根基。“孩子小”，这一理由常常被父母挂在嘴边。他们未曾意识到，孩子幼时如萌芽之苗，正处于性格与习惯塑造的关键期。正如英国教育家洛克所言：“儿童不是用规则可以教得好的，规则总是会被他们忘掉的。……习惯一旦培养成功之后，便用不着借助记忆，很容易地自然地就能发生作用了。”在孩子尚小之时，每一个日常互动、每一次简单引导都是教育的契机。若以“孩子小”为借口而忽视自我教育的提升，无疑是对这一黄金教育阶段的巨大浪费。

“没时间”宛如一座横亘在父母与孩子教育之间的大山。现代社会的快节奏生活让父母们疲于奔命，工作的重压与生活的琐碎似乎成为无法逾越的障碍。然而，古罗马哲学家塞涅卡曾说：“时间的最大损失是拖延、期待和依赖将来。”教育孩子的时间，就像海绵里的水，只要愿意挤，总是有的。哪怕只是短暂的陪伴、片刻的沟通，都可能成为孩子成长中珍贵的滋养。而“考虑下”和“下次吧”这种拖延和逃避的心态，只会让教育机会如细沙般从指缝间溜走。孩子的成长不等人，他们在时光流逝中迅速变化，教育的时效性容不得父母的犹豫不决。

当孩子在父母的疏忽下逐渐长大，一系列棘手的问题如汹涌的潮水般向父母涌来。“成绩差”可能只是表象，背后或许是长期以来学习习惯与方法的缺失。“没能力”可能体现在面对困难时的手足无措，这是因为在成长过程中，他们缺乏来自父母正确引导下所应具备的解决问题的能力。“迷游戏”和“早恋啦”等问题更让父母焦头烂额。可这时候，父母往往只看到孩子的问题，却忽略了自身在孩子成长过程中教育缺失的责任。德国哲学家雅斯贝尔斯说过：“教育的本质意味着：一棵树摇动另一棵树，一朵云推动另一朵云，一个灵魂唤醒另一个灵魂。”孩子在成长中出现这些问题，很大程度上是因为在成长过程中没有得到来自父母灵魂深处的唤醒与引导。

当父母意识到问题严重性想要补救时，却发现自己陷入了绝境。“没办法”是一种深深的无力感，他们感觉孩子已长大成型，难以改变。“错过了”是对逝去教育时机的痛惜，那些本应陪伴孩子成长的宝贵时光一去不复返。“追不上”是父母在孩子成长之路上掉队后的绝望，孩子的思想和行为已超出他们的控制范围。“怪自己”则是父母内心痛苦的自责，可此时，再多的自责也难以挽回已经造成的局面。

李嘉诚深刻地指出：任何教育的失败都无法弥补教育孩子的失败。教育孩子是父母一生最重要的使命，它承载着一个家庭的希望与未来。董卿在《开学第一课》里的话语更是振聋发聩：“在教育孩子的时候，你选择了赚钱，不去管教孩子。等孩子长大了，你辛辛苦苦挣一辈子的钱，都抵不过他败家一年。”这如警钟长鸣，警示着父母们不能因一时的利益而忽视对孩子的教育。

在教育孩子的伟大事业中，爱与榜样是两把关键的钥匙。真正觉醒的家庭明白，只改变自己，不改变孩子。正如孔子所说：“其身正，不令而行；其身不正，虽令不从。”孩子是父母的镜子，父母的言行举止都是孩子模仿的对象。若父母期望孩子热爱阅读，自己便应放下手机，沉浸于书本之中；若希望孩子拥有良好品德，自己就应在生活中践行诚实、善良、宽容等美德。教育不是对孩子强加各种要求，强迫他们成为父母期望的模样，而是通过自身的影响力，如春雨般滋润孩子的心灵，潜移默化地引导他们成长。

在家庭这个教育的第一课堂里，父母作为孩子的第一任老师，其教育方式和家庭氛围对孩子的影响深远而持久。古希腊哲学家柏拉图认为：“一个人从小所受的教育把他往哪里引导，能决定他后来往哪里走。”一个充满爱、和谐、积极向上的家庭氛围，能让孩子感受到温暖与安全，为其心理健康和良好性格的形成提供肥沃的土壤。相反，一个争吵不断、冷漠压抑的家庭环境则可能给孩子带来恐惧、焦虑等负面情绪，阻碍他们的成长。父母的教育方式也至关重要，打骂式的教育可能会让孩子变得叛逆或胆小懦弱，而鼓励式的教育则能激发孩子的自信心和创造力。

父母在教育孩子的过程中要与孩子共同成长。随着时代的变迁，孩子所处的环境和面临的问题与父母当年截然不同。法国思想家卢梭说：“在儿童时期没有养成思想的习惯，将使他从此以后一生都没有思想的能力。”父母需要不断学习新的教育理念和方法，了解孩子所处时代的文化和价值观。在当今数字化时代，引导孩子正确使用网络成为父母的新课题，这就要求父母先熟悉网络世界，才能更好地与孩子沟通。同时，父母要注重培养孩子的独立性和自主性，让他们在面对问题时能够独立思考、自主解决，就像古希腊诗人荷马所说：“劳动是人类的命运。”这里的劳动可以理解为孩子在成长中通过自身努力解决问题，这是他们成长的必然过程。

此外，父母要关注孩子的情感需求。在孩子成长的道路上，他们会遭遇各种挫折和困难，如学习压力、人际关系问题等。父母要成为孩子心灵的港湾，给予他们情感上的支持与鼓励。苏联教育家苏霍姆林斯基说：“教育者应当深刻了解正在成长的人的心灵……只有在自己整个教育生涯中不断地研究学生的心理，加深自己的心理学知识，才能够成为教育工作的真正的能手。”父母要用爱去理解孩子的内心世界，一个拥抱、一句安慰的话语，都可能成为孩子重新振作的力量源泉。而且，父母要尊重孩子的个性差异，每个孩子都有独特的天赋和兴趣爱好，不能用统一的标准去衡量和要求他们，正如美国教育家杜威所说：“教育不是把外面的东西强迫儿童或青年去吸收，而是要使人类与生俱来的能力得以生长。”

在教育孩子的漫漫征途中，父母要时刻铭记，教育是一种神圣的责任，更是爱的无私奉献。不要让借口成为教育缺失的理由，不要在孩子出现问题后才追悔莫及。从现在开始，改变自己，用爱和榜样为孩子点亮成长的道路，让家庭成为孩子最温暖的避风港，让教育成为家庭最宝贵的财富，为孩子的未来铸就坚实的基础，使他们在成长的道路上能够健康、快乐、自信地前行，成为有价值、有担当的人。因为孩子的教育成功，才是一个家庭真正的成功，是家族延续和繁荣的根本保障。

《Education: The Inheritance of Love and Example, Starting with Self - transformation》

In the long journey of a child's growth, parents play a crucial role, and their influence is like a lighthouse, guiding the child's forward direction. However, many parents inadvertently fall into educational predicaments, making the child's growth path fraught with thorns and themselves eventually plunged into endless remorse.

During the initial stage of education, parents often use some seemingly valid excuses to shirk their responsibilities, and these excuses are like a chronic poison, eroding the foundation of education. “The child is young” is an excuse frequently on parents' lips. They fail to realize that when a child is young, he or she is like a budding seedling, in a critical period of character and habit formation. As the British educator Locke said, “Children are not to be taught well by rules, which they always forget... Once a habit is formed, there is no need for memory, and the habit will naturally come into play.” When the child is young, every daily interaction and every simple guidance are educational opportunities. If we use “the child is young” as an excuse to neglect the improvement of self - education, it is undoubtedly a great waste of this prime educational period.

“Lack of time” is like a huge mountain between parents and children's education. The fast - paced life in modern society has exhausted parents. The pressure of work and the trivialities of life seem to be insurmountable obstacles. However, as the Roman philosopher Seneca said, “Procrastination, expectation, and reliance on the future are the greatest losses of time.” The time for educating children is like water in a sponge. As long as you are willing to squeeze, there will always be some. Even a short period of company and a moment of communication can become precious nourishment for the child's growth. And the procrastinating and evasive mentalities of “think about it” and “next time” will only cause educational opportunities to slip away like sand through the fingers. A child's growth waits for no one, and they change rapidly with the passage of time. The timeliness of education leaves no room for parents' hesitation.

When children grow up gradually under the neglect of their parents, a series of thorny problems come to parents like a surging tide. “Poor academic performance” may be just a superficial manifestation, and behind it may be the long - term lack of study habits and methods. “Lack of ability” may be manifested as being at a loss when facing difficulties because, during the growth process, they lack the problem - solving ability that they should have under the correct guidance of their parents. Problems such as “addiction to games” and “puppy love” make parents even more worried. However, at this time, parents often only see the problems of the children and ignore their own responsibility for the lack of education in the process of the children's growth. The German philosopher Jaspers said, “The essence of education is that one tree shakes another tree, one cloud pushes another cloud, and one soul awakens another soul.” To a large extent, children have these problems during their growth because they have not received the awakening and guidance from the depths of their parents' souls during the growth process.

When parents realize the seriousness of the problem and try to make up for it, they find themselves in a desperate situation. “No solution” is a deep sense of powerlessness. They feel that the child has grown up and formed, and it is difficult to change. “Missed” is the bitter pain of the lost educational opportunity. Those precious times when they should have accompanied the child's growth are gone forever. “Can't catch up” is the despair of parents falling behind in the child's growth path. The child's thoughts and behaviors have gone beyond their control range. “Self - blame” is the painful self - condemnation in the parents' hearts. However, at this time, no matter how much self - blame there is, it is difficult to reverse the situation that has already been caused.

Li Ka - shing profoundly pointed out that any failure in education cannot make up for the failure in educating children. Educating children is the most important mission in a parent's life, carrying the hope and future of a family. Dong Qing's words in “The First Class of the New Term” are even more deafening: “When you choose to make money instead of disciplining your children during the education of your children. When the children grow up, all the money you have worked hard to earn in your life will not be able to offset the money they squander in a year.” This is like a long - sounding alarm bell, warning parents not to neglect the education of their children for temporary benefits.

In the great cause of educating children, love and example are two key keys. Truly awakened families understand that it is themselves that need to be changed, not the children. As Confucius said, “When a ruler himself is upright, all goes well even though he does not give orders. But when he himself is not upright, even though he gives orders, they are not obeyed.” Children are the mirror of their parents, and every word and deed of parents is an object of imitation for children. If parents expect their children to love reading, they should put down their mobile phones and engage in books; if they hope their children have good moral character, they should practice honesty, kindness, and tolerance in life. Education is not to impose various requirements on children and force them to become what parents expect, but to influence them imperceptibly like spring rain, moistening the children's hearts and guiding them to grow.

In the family, the first classroom of education, parents, as the first teachers of children, their educational methods and family atmosphere have a far - reaching and long - lasting impact on children. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato believed that “where education leads a person in childhood determines the direction of his later life.” A family atmosphere full of love, harmony, and positiveness can make children feel warm and safe, providing fertile soil for the formation of their mental health and good character. On the contrary, a family environment full of quarrels, indifference, and depression may bring fear, anxiety, and other negative emotions to children, hindering their growth. Parents' educational methods are also crucial. Punitive education may make children rebellious or timid and cowardly, while encouraging education can stimulate children's self - confidence and creativity.

In the process of educating children, parents should grow up with their children. With the changes of the times, the environment in which children live and the problems they face are completely different from those of their parents. The French thinker Rousseau said, “If one does not develop the habit of thinking in childhood, one will have no ability to think for the rest of one's life.” Parents need to continuously learn new educational concepts and methods and understand the culture and values of the era in which children live. In today's digital age, guiding children to use the Internet correctly has become a new topic for parents. This requires parents to be familiar with the online world first so that they can better communicate with their children. At the same time, parents should pay attention to cultivating children's independence and autonomy, so that they can think independently and solve problems independently when facing problems. Just as the ancient Greek poet Homer said, “Labor is the destiny of mankind.” Here, labor can be understood as children's efforts to solve problems during their growth, which is an inevitable process of their growth.

In addition, parents should pay attention to the emotional needs of children. On the road of children's growth, they will encounter various setbacks and difficulties, such as learning pressure, interpersonal relationship problems, etc. Parents should become a shelter for the children's hearts and give them emotional support and encouragement. The Soviet educator Sukhomlinsky said, “Educators should deeply understand the growing mind... Only by continuously studying students' psychology throughout the entire educational career and deepening psychological knowledge can one become a real expert in educational work.” Parents should use love to understand the inner world of their children. A hug and a comforting word may become the source of strength for the children to cheer up again. Moreover, parents should respect the individual differences of children. Each child has unique talents and hobbies, and they should not be measured and required by a unified standard. As the American educator Dewey said, “Education is not to force children or young people to absorb something from the outside, but to make the inborn abilities of human beings grow.”

On the long journey of educating children, parents should always remember that education is a sacred responsibility and the selfless dedication of love.