<p class="ql-block">指导老师无为斋主人</p><p class="ql-block">2024.11.6</p> <p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px; color:rgb(237, 35, 8);">下期作业：</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px; color:rgb(237, 35, 8);">一、出句：</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px; color:rgb(237, 35, 8);">碧水连天云作岸；</b></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px; color:rgb(237, 35, 8);">二、自撰诗联</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px; color:rgb(1, 1, 1);">出题与点评老师郭彩萍</b></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">霍成奎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">清风及地柳成堤。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：对仗工整，形对意联，若“及地”改为“掠地”，比较恰当。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵文英</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">微波紫气我乘舟。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：平仄合律，语意关联。“紫气”偏正词组，而“连天”是动宾词组。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">王占安</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青山拔地柳为栏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：对仗工整，意境关联。碧水青山佳联。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刘宽应</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青山映日绿如潮。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：“绿如潮”的景色是在风的助力下形成，此处这样写不妥。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">温丕彪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">红霞布宇鹜还家。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">白帆向日浪为歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：两联对仗工整，意境关联，用词新颖恰当，佳对！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 出句对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">程树光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">白帆入海鸟为邻。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：对仗工整，语意关联，颜色字运用准确，佳联！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刘建和</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">高山耸柏月为邻。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：对仗工整，气势相当，佳联！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">郝建富</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青山接地雾为屏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：碧水青山，云雾缭绕，佳对！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梁金翠</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">红花映日蝶为媒。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：上联气盛，下联势弱，下联托不起上联。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵显勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青山遍野雨为帘。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：人们常用“满山遍野”，形容极多。个觉“青山遍野”用法欠妥。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">苍松接岭鹤成峰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 一一郭保旺</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：上下联气势相当，佳联！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">闫秀萍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青山延脉石为基。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：对仗工整，语意关联。佳联！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">程永红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金风起浪岭为屏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：对仗工整，关联紧密，佳联！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">程树兰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">彩霞漫岭影随波。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：对仗工整，语意相关，“漫”作动词用，一幅画呈现于眼前，佳联！</span></p> <p class="ql-block">出句对句</p><p class="ql-block">冀雅玲</p><p class="ql-block">碧水连天云作岸；</p><p class="ql-block">红霞拥岭树披绸。</p><p class="ql-block">点评：想象丰富，用词考究，意境相随，佳对！</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">崔晓清</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">对句：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青山伴海影成峰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：对句“影成峰”三字，个觉欠妥。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">王海良作业：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一、出句对句：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠湖映画日钤章。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二、自撰诗联</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">贺神州十九登天圆满成功</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">圆梦太空，三英冲宇舒豪气；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">惊天科技，五次会师展国威。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：对仗工整，意境关联，用心之作，佳联！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梁小彬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">黄河落地岭成屏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">红叶遍野雨缝衣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1、意境开阔，若“落地”改为“卷浪”如何？</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2、“叶”字应平而仄。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">修改</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梁小彬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">黄河卷地岭成屏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">红松遍野雨缝衣。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">许晋武</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">清风拂地草生波。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：形对意联，用词恰当，佳联！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出句对句：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">郭彩萍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧水连天云作岸；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">彩舟载客浪翻花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评：对仗工正，意境很好，符合要求，堪称佳联！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点评老师王占安</span></p>