四平铁西楹联于桂芹老师点评《第四五三期至四五八期》

云中霞

<p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四五三期(围绕钢铁厂对句)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁水火洪。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“火洪”改“奔流”好</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">红星闪闪,铁水奔流。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顾毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁水奔流。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">锤声阵阵,热汗奔流。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">a</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁臂挥扬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">b</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">汗珠滚滚,斗志激昂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉牛歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁铲扬威</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“扬威”动宾,改动词,可类似“翻扬”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁泉滾滾,茧手欢呼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(大智若愚)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火升腾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞舞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">歌声阵阵,斗志昂扬。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">徐增新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁水奔腾</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">红光闪闪,铁水踏歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刚花飞溅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁水奔流</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">红光闪闪,铁水奔流</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁水横流。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“横流”水四处流动,有泛滥的贬义。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">星光熠熠,铁水横流。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">可“奔流”,“橫流”有泛滥的意思。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁水永流</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“永流”改动词“奔流”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">b</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">旌旗烈烈,斗志昂扬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">王向东</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁水翻腾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金星闪闪,汗水奔流。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">汗水蒸腾</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">眸光烈烈,汗水蒸腾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(红米)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁水奔流</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">机声阵阵,轧囗塑型</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“塑型”动宾结构,改成动词。可“涌出”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">居洪义</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁锭成堆。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“堆”名词,应对动词,“成堆”可“堆积”(成堆地聚集)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">干劲满满,铁水畅通。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“干劲”应平平,可“信心”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢花飞溅,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁水奔流。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 炼钢方法是从生铁或直接从矿石熔炼成钢水的冶炼方法。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 炽热的铁水流入模具,瞬间激起一片钢花四溅的壮丽景象。“铁水”是液态铁的俗称,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炉火熊熊,钢花飞舞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">红光闪闪,铁水奔流。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> “熊熊”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">①光焰旺盛貌。②气势壮盛貌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出处</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">①光焰旺盛貌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">《山海经·西山经》:“南望 昆侖 ,其光熊熊,其氣魂魂。”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">郭璞 注:“皆光氣炎盛相焜燿之貌。”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">《史记·天官书》</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">②气势壮盛貌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">《史记·廉颇蔺相如列传》 唐 司马贞 述赞:“清飇凛凛,壯氣熊熊。”</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四五四期(围绕钢铁厂对句)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铸就俊雄魂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> “俊雄”豪迈出众的人,英雄。钢铁是广泛应用材料,对“栋梁材”更准。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铸铁坊内,铁水同汗水共流。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铸就英雄魂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“英雄魂”犯三连平禁忌。改“栋梁材”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铸造坊内,剑影和梦想共飞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联“钢”“花”属于规则重字,下联相同位置也要规则重字。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">a</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铸造栋梁材</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">可“铸就”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">b</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">输料道上,汗气同碳汽共飘</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联“钢”“花”属于规则重字,“料”也要规则重字</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">🍁🐂🍁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">培就栋梁材。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">圆梦途中,志气与霸气共存。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联“钢”“花”属于规则重字,“梦”也要规则重字</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">徐增新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">造就弹星材</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“弹星”改“栋梁”好,应用领域更宽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">园梦厂中,梦想同理想共存</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">可“圆梦”厂里,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(大智若愚)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">造就正直人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蓄铁模里,铁水参汗水共流。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“参”改成连词“和”更准。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铸成千秋魂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">不应对数量词,“千年魂”又犯三连平禁忌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">功劳薄上,汗水和荣誉并存。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联“钢”“花”属于规则重字,下联“劳”“水”也要规则重字。可改“信誉和荣誉并存”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">卢宝春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">轧就栋梁材</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">轧囗辊后,汗水和梦共存</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联“钢”“花”属于规则重字,“口”“水”也要规则重字。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">居洪义</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">煅就栋梁材。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出铁槽处,铁影同人影共行。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“出铁槽”是处理高炉产生的铁水和炉渣的配置。改“铁水和汗水”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铸就英雄魂</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“英雄魂”三个字都是平声,犯三连平禁忌。改“栋梁材”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出铁槽内,铁水同汗水奔流</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“奔流”可“共流”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">练成钢铁汉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">浇铸栋梁材</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“浇铸”改“铸就”工稳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铸铁坊内,铁水同汗水共淌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“淌”应平声,可“流”或“融”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">锻好栋梁材</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">迎火岗上,泪水和汗水共流。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联“钢”“花”属于规则重字,下联也要规则重字。类似改“司火灶内,火焰和赫焰共燃”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(红米)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼成钢铁汉;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铸就栋梁材。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> “钢铁汉”是指那些坚强不屈、不怕困难、勇于担当的人。‌ </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 具体指钢铁行业中工作的工人,他们需要在高温、高强度的工作环境中持续工作,面对各种技术难题和设备故障,但仍然保证质量完成工作。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 这样的人,才能铸就好的材料“栋梁材”为国家建设贡献力量。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">炼钢炉前,钢花与心花齐放;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出铁槽内,铁水和汗水同流。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 上联“钢”“花”,属于规则重字,下联对句时,也要在相同位置上,对规则重字。“铁”“汗”也是规则重字。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四五五期(围绕洗衣对句)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瞬间穿戴体精神。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">双排纽扣系犹温。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">徐增新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">万倾碧涛水流声。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">名词对名词,平仄要相对,类似改“几湾碧水色斑斓”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八方红艳有余欢。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">类似改“几方石板动犹欢”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顾毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顿时旋转物清洁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">两支茧手洗常洁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">应“两只”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(红米)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">满衣飘散味芬香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]可“满绳”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">满池泡沫去仍香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顿时漂净色鲜明</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">满池清水洗犹新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(大智若愚)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">几重洗濯色犹新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">半团皂角濯犹新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">半时打扮体轻盈。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">多棱搓板洗常新。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瞬间洁净貌轻盈。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“貌”可“质”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">两篮衣物洗愈新。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上联描写的是用棒槌洗衣服,下联可描写水质,(不用提衣物)类似“两盆清水荡犹新”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">多时晾晒改蓬松</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“型”衣服型,名词,可“质蓬松”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">两只纤手洗尤新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三回整理式犹新。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]可“几回”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三条澡豆洗尤新。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瞬间提振蛮精神。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“型”指衣服型,名词,“蛮”副词,应对名词,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">两杆衣挂飘犹</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">新。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“杆”多音字,“两杆”仄声,应改平声,类似改“两排衣挂晾犹鲜”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">卢宝春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">a</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瞬间焕亮质柔新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">b</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">两只巧手搓愈洁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“愈”应平声,可“犹”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉牛歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一霎清除型挺括;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">四时漂洗色斑斓。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> “挺括”形容衣服面料等平整,不容易皱。瞬间就能把衣服清洗干净且衣型不变,说明手法高。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一柄棒槌敲更艳,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三江碧浪浣犹鲜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> “棒槌”主要指民间浆洗衣物用具。槌多由一根短木头刨削而成,用于捶打衣物,使脏水流出更快。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 上联描写用什么样工具(棒槌)洗衣服,下联描写用什么水(江水)淘洗。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 动词“敲、浣)运用准确生动形象, 一幅洗衣画面展现在眼前。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四五六期(围绕洗衣对句)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出水增白,干净整洁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“白”可“新”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">浣歌飘晚。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">徐增新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上体增辉,挺括精神。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">浮烟生玉。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“生玉”与洗衣服关联不大,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滚水除尘,洁净芳香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">转轮生韵。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(红米)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出水清洁,挺括美观。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“清洁”是一个词,而“脱垢”是动宾结构:脱去污垢。类似改“除尘”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">机声呼月。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">卢宝春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出水增洁,新美大方</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“大方”指人在待人接物、言谈举止等方面表现得慷慨、豪爽、不拘束。修饰“衣”不确切。可“干净清新”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滚轮飘彩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(大智若愚)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出水去污,美丽端庄。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“美丽端庄”形容人行为庄重举止文雅。不确切。可改“柔软顺滑”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">旋音照日</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“音”不能“照”,可“烘”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">a</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水去污,洁净整齐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">b</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">晾衣遮日;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉牛歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出手去尘,挺括整齐</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">晾衣遮月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">晾晒杀菌,干净芬芳。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“晾晒”:把东西摊开让日光晒,动词。改动宾结构,类似“透气杀菌”,或“让日杀菌”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">晾衣添彩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出水离尘,皎洁清新。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“皎洁”多指月亮明亮而洁白。可“洁净”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滚轮翻浪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">出水添香,干净整齐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">浣娘迎日</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">入机脱垢,舒松平展;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">无水洗污,明亮清新。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 上联描写用洗衣机清洗,效果“舒松平展”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 下联描写无水干洗衣服,明亮清新,同样效果好。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 一改过去用棒槌敲,用洗衣板搓洗的时代,这是科技进步的体现。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">流水映霞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">敲声邀月。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">如果不要求围绕主题对句,可以展开想象对,按主题对句,就得围绕洗衣服情形来对。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四五七期(围绕裁缝纫店对句)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">彩线龙腾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">锦心缝就万身衣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">彩线穿梭。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“凤舞”凤凰跳舞,主谓结构,“穿梭”:像织布的梭子来回活动,动词。改主谓结构类似“花开”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">精心缝制万家衣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银线龙腾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">精心缝制万人衣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(红米)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">彩色龙飞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“金针”是具体工具,“彩色”改具体工具或材料,类似可“银线鹤飞”“玉尺龙飞”等</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">匠心缝制百搭服。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银线龙腾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">缝机织就万箱衣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“缝纫机”别名“涯车”,类似改“涯车缝制万箱衣”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">卢宝春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">玉线龙飞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">神工描绣万衣花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">彩线龙翔</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">灵足登制百家衣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“灵足”改“精心”更好。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(大智若愚)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银线梭飞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“针、线梭”都是工具,改“梭飞”为银线的描写句。类似“鹤飞”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">精心熨好百橱衣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">改“缝好”更好</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">徐增新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熨斗龙行</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">b</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">精心织得万重锦</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“锦”仄声,应平声。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">🍁🐂🍁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">红线鸡鸣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">精心绣起百枝花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银线龙飞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">暖心绣上百行棉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“绣上花”更好</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">玉线龙游</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“龙飞”更好</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">精心缝就万人裳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">居洪义</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">a</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">玉线龙腾</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">b</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">暖心逢制百家衣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">王向东</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">14</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银线鱼翔</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">神机缝就万人衣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">玉尺龙飞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 用尺量身,用针绣图案。“龙飞凤舞”说明所制衣精致、高贵。侧面赞美制衣人心灵手巧,匠心独运。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“玉尺”:尺的美称。宋代 王珪 《宫词》:“金针玉尺裁缝处,一对盘龙落剪刀。”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧手剪开千尺布,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">精心缝得万家衣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 上联“剪布”,下联“缝衣”。 “剪、缝”不是简单的,而是运用灵活的手进行裁剪。是用心去做衣。赞美制衣人是拥有高明技能的人。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">简评铁西楹联协会练笔四五八期(围绕裁缝纫店对句)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖对</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">新装配就美容颜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针缝就彩云飞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">徐增新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针绣作旧图文。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“旧”(有过时感)改“古”更有美感</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针绣罢玉龙腾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新颖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针缝制老风格</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“老”有过时感、不时尚。改“古风情”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针缝制彩龙飞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]改“缝得或缝就”动补结构。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">张红</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">仁心绣制古名牌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁成丹凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鋼针绣就玉龙翔</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(大智若愚)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">钢针跑过好风格。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“好风格”可“好功夫”(做工好)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针织就淡云飘。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(红米)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">a</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">新机绣出美花纹</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">b</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银机绣就彩鸾飞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">🍁🐂🍁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金梭织就美衣裳。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“梭子”用来织布的,不是做衣服的,主题“制衣”,不用提“衣裳”,类似改“金针织就好功夫”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针织就彩鸾飞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邹丽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">匠心设计古风格。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针游走彩云追。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“游走”改“牵得”(动补结构)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赵秀芬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银机制出旧风华</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“旧”有陈旧过气感,“风华“指风采才华,不妥。类似改“古风情”。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针绣出紫鸾翔</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巧针绣出妙花纹。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针织就玉龙腾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">卢宝春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金丝缀入美花纹。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针绣就紫骝腾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韩秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银剪裁来新样式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针绣岀古时装</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针绣岀玉龙腾</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">居洪义</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小结</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">参考对句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">铁剪裁来新样式,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金针行处好功夫。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> “铁剪、金针”裁剪缝制工具。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“衣服”裁剪样式新颖时尚,做工针脚细密,缝纫质量高工夫好。也得益于工具得心应手。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金剪裁成丹凤舞,</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">银针引出彩鸾飞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">(“处”平水韵仄声。)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 用金剪裁成丹凤跳舞的图案,用银针绣出彩色鸾鸟翻飞图案。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 制衣人心灵手巧,缝纫技能高超!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 从细节见品质,这应是具有艺术观赏的杰作!</span></p>