<p class="ql-block">班主任：无忧花 许琞</p><p class="ql-block">班助：龙泉客 傻骨柔肠</p><p class="ql-block">作管班长：阳光</p><p class="ql-block">美篇班长：雨夜伊人</p><p class="ql-block">作业美篇：雨夜伊人 龙泉客</p><p class="ql-block">练习美篇：傻骨柔肠</p><p class="ql-block">评阅团长：活色生香 王琴杰 </p><p class="ql-block"> 龙泉客</p><p class="ql-block">晨读领读：王琴杰</p><p class="ql-block">群读考勤：活色生香</p><p class="ql-block">审稿： 思雨 秋云</p> <p class="ql-block">律53高二第2讲作业</p><p class="ql-block">请以“梅花”为题材写五律一首，韵部自选。依所学知识要求如下：</p><p class="ql-block">（1）对、粘、替不得有误，不能有三平尾，三仄尾。</p><p class="ql-block">（2）起句兴起，景语，直入主题，不拖泥带水，不负面。</p><p class="ql-block">（3）承句为偶句，景语，做到了承上启下和扩展扩张。</p><p class="ql-block">（4）转句为偶句，情语。</p><p class="ql-block">（5）合句前分句小结前面六个分句，合句后分句实比扣回起句。</p><p class="ql-block">（6）注意承转两个偶句字义节奏的变化（有AB节奏之分）。</p><p class="ql-block">（7）注意四声递用法。</p><p class="ql-block">（8）注意八个衔接性和八个独立性。</p><p class="ql-block">（9）避免窄韵、倒韵、险韵、串韵、凑韵的错误，注意遵守韵不入诗。</p><p class="ql-block">（10）不得有太阳雨。</p> <p class="ql-block">11）不得使用词组，注意1-4；2-5位置字的词性。</p><p class="ql-block">（12）注意物象的选择及应用，营造意境。</p><p class="ql-block">（13）首字平仄和韵字阴阳，尽可能达到平衡，韵字做到动静结合。</p><p class="ql-block">（14）合理安排队长队员和收放。</p><p class="ql-block">（15）合理安排虚实。</p><p class="ql-block">（16）注意气势的合理安排。</p><p class="ql-block">（17）注意脉络畅通。</p><p class="ql-block">（18）注意诗画、群聚和明理。</p><p class="ql-block">（19）注意起句要有“的”。</p><p class="ql-block">（20）注意承、起句要关联紧密。</p><p class="ql-block">（21）转句注意衔接性、提升能还原到丝。</p><p class="ql-block">（22）合句要么明志、要么神情。</p><p class="ql-block">（23）注意诗言志、明志、</p><p class="ql-block"> 24）注意体物、密跗。</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赏梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/许琞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅林伴客游，满目景清幽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">阡陌孤芳艳，山川傲骨柔。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒香松雾色，瘦影雪侵楼。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曲径琼枝悄，争春紫盖悠。</span></p><p class="ql-block">修改稿</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韵梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/雨夜伊人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">孤芳冬九立，静院暗香弥。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风雪催疏蕊，冰霜裹细枝。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">精魂君子敬，品节墨官痴。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">几度迎寒苦，侵肌志不移。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">颂梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);"> 文/ 李秀亭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">凌寒山径旁，风起送清香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">靓影迎宾醉，馥魂令我昂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雪花随日去，梅朵独容芳。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">无意争春色，天生不惧霜。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/柔肠</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">疏影向冬生，报春留美名。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">香魂牵冷蕊，丽色映冰琼。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雪重禅心静，风疾傲骨迎。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">岁寒三结友，羞与百花争。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/龙泉客</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寂静山崖处，凌寒暗送香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">枝横冰雪里，蕊绽水云旁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲骨擎天地，幽姿入赋章。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">平生身自洁，秀气韵中藏。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赞红梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/吕占海</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">嫣颜披素裹，俏貌顶银绒。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">展艳寒风季，含苞雪里红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">天生存傲骨，大度厌争崇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">只盼春来早，同欢百俊中。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赏梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/秦川</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">凌寒蓓蕾催，相约撷春来。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲骨豪情放，冰肌尽兴裁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">披霜含倩影，浴雪映霞腮。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">景美千人醉，馨香一束梅。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/晨曦</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">疏影几枝藏，随风送暗香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花开同雪舞，瓣落护春妆。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲骨群英妒，精魂墨客扬。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">平生怀四德，报喜献和祥。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">咏梅花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/林天平</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">早起进厅堂 ，遥闻一阵香 。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒风冰片碎，红蕾树枝妆 。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">大雪封山脉，鲜花傲玉霜 。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">虽无新叶护，照旧映朝阳 。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/月光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瑞雪卷苍穹，梅株展艳红。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">冰肌芳树静，玉骨雅情融。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">弄蕊何人共，寻香有客同。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">落英题赋曲，飞絮舞花丛。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 梅花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/思雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">披拂幻成霞，闻香胜品茶。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风来千蝶舞，影动数枝斜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">冷蕊铺春意，孤芳展物华。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">屡经冰雪辱，练就绝尘花。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒梅赞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/玉良</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">众芳摇落后，凛冽展新妍。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">天有玉龙舞，花无黄蝶悬。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鸠惊已偷看，猫喜早闻鲜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">骨傲梅高洁，骚人赞雅篇。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">咏梅 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/秋云</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲雪花颜俏，琼林第一枝，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水边冰恋影，陌上雾添姿。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">迢递偏情厚，孤高益画奇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">岁寒松竹友，香满案头诗。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/一叶知秋</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">疏枝水岸横，傲雪暗香萦。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">绽蕾如粉腮，凝珠若彩晶。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">唯凭桃李妒，不畏苦寒生。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">报得春风意，成尘更护英。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">观梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/阳光普照</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">书堂香暗涌，门外遂追巡。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一树花如火，满庭雪似银。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">清来偏厚我，俏起不争春。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲立风中舞，凌寒秀气真。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/笑看风云</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒英绽路陂，抱雪秀幽姿。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">色艳游人赏，香浮野陌随。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">放声吟傲骨，乘兴赋新词。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">借得花墨妙，芳情惹笔痴。</span></p><p class="ql-block">注：①寒英：这里指梅花。</p><p class="ql-block">②香浮野陌随：随，动词，从的意思。</p><p class="ql-block">③墨妙：文辞、书法或绘画技巧巧妙。</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">咏梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/绿野</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">陌上几株栽，仙姿疏影裁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">横斜清蕊摆，迢递暗香来。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">玉骨凌寒雪，冰魂绝俗埃。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">争先百花俏，只为报春开。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);"> 文/活色生香</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">庭前几树花，疏影自横斜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">伴雪妆红靥，临霜着白纱。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">山园观鹤羽，驿路寄春华。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">馥郁凌寒送，坚贞世代夸。</span></p><p class="ql-block">转句用了“梅妻鹤子”和“逢驿使赠梅”的典故。</p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(255, 138, 0);">浅评：写梅用“梅妻鹤子”典故的非常多。这首诗写的非常好，转换自如朗朗上口，而且通俗易懂。好的诗词是妇孺都能通读，简单易懂。不错，加油！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花赞 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/蓝天草原</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">红蕾严寒俏，芳姿寂寞邻。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">香魂舒艳蕊，白雪吻朱唇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">骨傲骚风在，文雄雅语频。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">悠然终玉洁，独自净花身。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">咏梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/开心奶奶</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒冬娇卉杳，素野俏梅斜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">香暗馨尤远，影疏妍若霞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雪凋红蕊艳，风冽韵姿嘉。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">无意争春色，不辞荣岁华。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(255, 138, 0);">评阅：小诗读起来阴阳顿挫四声波动非常的上口，对偶工整，用字优美。为“无意争春色”句点赞！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(255, 138, 0);">“雪凋红蕊艳，风冽韵姿嘉。”转句的衔接性，提升并还原到丝了。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花赞<span class="ql-cursor"></span></span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/馨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">仙姿一树琼，冷蕊向天莹。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雪虐疏枝俏，风侵艳魄清。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涵香传福韵，展蕾冠群英。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">独秀携松竹，同留傲骨铮。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">探梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/云淡风轻</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小萼映珠光，横斜小院旁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花开千蕊秀，风动一村香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲骨添诗韵，冰肌入酒觞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">轻轻花下坐，也学寿阳妆。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">咏梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/王琴杰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">疏影九冬呈，玲珑妙态生。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒风摇细蕊，白雪辍新英。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">香冽诗人韵，形妍画士名。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邀来松与竹，义气众心倾。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/西楼子</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">凌寒玉有瑕，殊韵透繁花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">愿向冬君付，期于水客夸。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">世尘凭絮雪，清梦寄天涯。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">抱璞何人惜，芳时报万家。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(255, 138, 0);">悠然浅评:问好西楼子学友。小诗基本符合作业要求。只是四声递用需要加强练习。另要多炼词炼句，如“期于水客夸、”“世尘凭絮雪”中的夸和凭放在句中就有些不好理解，以上个见，如有不当之处，请见谅。祝学习愉快。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">红梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/言善信</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">逢腊千枝蕊，迎春一抹香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">冰寒滋玉露，日暖索红妆。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">独秀娇姿远，争荣丰韵长。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">东风催姹紫，疏影伴迟光。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(255, 138, 0);">评阅：第一句感觉不好之外，其他都可以说是佳句。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);"> 文/邓雪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">生就清奇骨，琼姿脱俗尘。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">吐香滋粉面，展蕾点丹唇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雪沁浓华盛，霜凌艳彩新。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风来人觅径，怒放报初春。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">咏梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/牡丹</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">清新别韵修，妩媚傍泉优</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">玉骨凌寒雪，疏枝绽蕊酬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">横斜疏影秀，独处心不幽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">低唱浅吟醉，冰心祥瑞柔。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(255, 138, 0);">简评：这首诗押韵正确，平仄尚有斟酌之处， “疏”、“心”也有重字之嫌。整首诗虽未见“梅”字，但从用语及意境来看，都是围绕“梅”来展开。望继续努力。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">颂梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/年华</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">丽质魂高雅，芳颜靓美容。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">风情娇百态，神韵秀群峰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">斗雾擎香蕊，餐霜伴竹松。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">衔云邀日月，抱雪俏寒冬。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/湛兰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">阵阵梅花发，江南见雪时。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">压枝清馥远，飘袖素芳知。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">烟月人题句，楼台客赋词。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">悠扬漫天舞，宛转满园姿。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">咏梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/黄法</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">点点野梅红，芳香数九中。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">琼枝梳瑞雪，俏蕊笑寒风。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">骨傲催诗赋，身轻待友融。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">冰天能引客，谁敢与她同？</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><a href="http://www.cishanshihui.com.cn/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=14853" target="_blank">慈善诗会花开讲堂所有课程专栏介绍</a></p>