<p class="ql-block">格律诗的写作方法被称为“谋篇”，具体地讲就是“起承转合”。</p><p class="ql-block">《辞海》是这样解释的：起承转合是诗文结构方面的术语，也就是创作诗文的基本章法。</p><p class="ql-block">我们在写诗的时候，经常会出现首联与颔联脱节的情况。有三种方法来避免这种情况。</p> <p class="ql-block">1、分承</p><p class="ql-block">分承就是把首联中的词语分开，在颔联承接续写。</p><p class="ql-block">2、直承</p><p class="ql-block">直承就是顺着起笔之意，直接陈述所见所闻，这种承接法最讲究炼字的功夫，炼好了很容易出彩。</p><p class="ql-block">3、景承</p><p class="ql-block">也就是以景相承接，所有的景语都是情语，写景一定能品味出作者的情怀。我们在学诗过程中也要努力做到这一点。</p> <p class="ql-block">篇幅所限，这里只说分承。分承的方法有很多，既可以把首联中的词语分开，在颔联承接续写；也可以首联分领，颔联再合并承接；甚至还可以构造形成顶针句，实现词语和结构上的严谨，实现语气贯通。</p><p class="ql-block">笔者用最常见的分承法尝试一首，班门弄斧，让大家见笑了。</p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">七律.诗酒</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">人谓酣歌当抚弦，</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">须知诗酒趁华年。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">诗中得意邀明月，</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">酒里倾心醉谪仙。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">念故思敲青玉案，</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">裁新愿寄碧云笺。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">飞觞度曲翻回后，</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">却把清词作绣筵。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/31ucdn8?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=e23d0f487dc39ac0520befaae46997f8" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:18px;">仄起入韵七律，平水韵下平一先</span></p> <p class="ql-block">师长点评：</p><p class="ql-block">1、颔联“诗、酒”分承。</p><p class="ql-block">2、前三联征引过多，使失灵性。另，格律诗一般不用领字。颈联的领字当避。</p><p class="ql-block">3、三个白脚“月、案、后” 都是去声，形成每个起句都要下沉一下的感觉，读起来很不舒服，在声韵上不谐和，影响了诗韵的抑扬顿挫、自然流畅的美感。当避。</p><p class="ql-block">修改如下：</p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">七律.诗酒</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">人谓酣歌当抚弦，</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">须知诗酒趁华年。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">诗中得意邀明月，</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">酒里倾心醉谪仙。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">造化相宜生逸老，</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文章共乐慕高贤。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">飞觞度曲欢心处，</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor"></span>早把清词作绣筵。</span></p> <p class="ql-block">再试分承法，自觉过度追求形式，反而不大顺畅。</p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">七律.诗酒</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">从来诗酒最相宜，</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">对月凭栏自不羁。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">度曲敲诗长夜里，</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">登楼把酒少年时。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">人生得意须衔酒，</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">世事怀情可赋诗。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">妄诩贤豪君莫笑，</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">清词一首寄衰迟。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.24，平起入韵七律，平水韵上平四支，再试分承法</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/342bosz?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=eaec9243623884fb7184fdc7e1035b0f" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block">年关将近，琐事繁多，无暇潜心长文，仅以最近诗词学会作业汇总如下（不及细考，差强人意，真弄成了作业了）。</p><p class="ql-block">不足之处，敬请指教。</p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.冬夜</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">冻柳风无力，寒蟾夜未眠。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">阑珊灯火处，孤影自留连。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.11.30，仄起五绝，平水韵下平一先</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/30ko3zf?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=f79c6584bd53a8eee3886b7c66d6b724" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.冬景</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">冬日偏关外，荒陵草木凋。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">冰河千万里，铁马入心潮。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.8，仄起五绝，平水韵下平二萧</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/31sa3r3?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=2b722018a0836e6ee9ece3aff1a19c57" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.冬野</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">烈烈西风起，寒阳照远郊。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">霜云摧野木，雁去独空巢。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.16，仄起五绝，平水韵下平三肴</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/32vrn2c?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=0f98ca89a1bcc027b7251e156178bd58" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.冬至</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">西风烈若刀，天地着霜袍。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">冬至初阳起，山河且自韬。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.21，平起入韵五绝，平水韵下平四豪</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/33leagp?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=68d8228fec4e562ea95523ad7c398e9f" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.冬怨</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">寂寂苍山坞，泠泠白玉河。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">霜风犹未了，冬岁已嫌多。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.22，仄起五绝，平水韵下平五歌</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/33rbelt?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=07a04d822adafb04630e32d8d99334a4" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.冬日驻村</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">岭上炊烟起，荒村百姓家。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">柴门闻犬吠，老树落寒鸦。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.24，仄起五绝，平水韵下平六麻</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/34287zv?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=592177c77197890a86ce000e28ce27ed" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.大雪</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">漫舞任风飏，飞花渐欲狂。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">山河皆半隐，唯有雪茫茫。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.25，仄起入韵五绝，平水韵下平七阳</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/346o3jm?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=83060a9e48c0a975629f11a91f4c9537" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.雪后</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">客路雪初晴，云开日正明。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">蓝天连白地，古塞望边城。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.25，仄起入韵五绝，平水韵下平八庚</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/347ebb8?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=df88e78dc9bf17210ceaa062706563a8" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.星夜</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">新月照冬庭，松寒叶自青。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">山乡幽独夜，举目满天星。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.26，仄起入韵五绝，平水韵下平九青</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/34bgjhk?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=d39883ef718afa00bd55e3bddbd305e4" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.感怀辛弃疾</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">愿挂青锋剑，千军策马征。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">奈何终是梦，顾影对书灯。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.26，仄起五绝，平水韵下平十蒸</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/34c9uw2?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=af650c59d5b9518306c132204ad4df4f" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.再怀辛弃疾</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">未许前尘愿，何言此地愁。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">却来倾酒后，独步最高楼。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.26，仄起五绝，平水韵下平十一尤</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/34cxmdz?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=156c8372f91adebda97e1a0909bdc136" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.三怀辛弃疾</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">纵有千秋作，难酬志士心。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">叹君南下后，终日伴孤吟。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.26，仄起五绝，平水韵下平十二侵</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/34dfbag?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=40ac72b28211ac25143b105a3aa67c87" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.南峰水库</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">十里县东南，千山一碧潭。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">雪消春入画，新水绿如蓝。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.27，仄起入韵五绝，平水韵下平十三覃</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/34i9df5?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=c33040d9a96634256f9c3e28c8bba114" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.冬梅</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">天寒开雪岭，岁转立风檐。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">最是丹青色，孤香对玉蟾。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.30，平起五绝，平水韵下平十四盐</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/34wzdp0?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=c3501092e172def8c6b5d445df186ccb" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">五绝.冬赋</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">文／王东</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">欲赋冬凉景，深思细语喃。</span></p><p class="ql-block" style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:22px;">松梅风雪月，次第入诗函。</span></p><p class="ql-block">2021.12.30，仄起五绝，平水韵下平十五咸</p><p class="ql-block"><a href="https://www.meipian.cn/raise/short-content/34xcaa6?share_to=copy_link&user_id=72720067&uuid=3951b2a086ead3518f9018158fbda294&share_depth=1&first_share_uid=72720067&utm_medium=meipian_android&share_user_mpuuid=24d0ba755359793f08c2f8f2cbbfadaa&um_rtc=8136cf7e3af9fcca94a4fa5311c26cab" target="_blank">拙作链接</a></p> <p class="ql-block">以上又收录了下平十五韵的五绝习作，敬请诗友斧正（其中个别词句相比初稿已经做了修改）。</p><p class="ql-block">指定韵部诗词创作对初学者而言是非常好的功课练习。个人在开始时曾想以冬景为主题（之前尝试的上平十五韵便是以秋兴为主题），但在下平十蒸时遇到困难，又不想敷衍了事，索性夹写了三首感怀辛弃疾（个人自小的偶像）的绝句。诗中不少景境描写来自下乡挂职扶贫期间的晋西北风光（印象和影响深刻啊，和那里的冬天相比，太原还是太暖和了）。</p><p class="ql-block">行文至此，落笔为终。谨祝各位诗友创作愉快，顺颂冬祺！</p>