故乡,回不去的曾经

蓝歌

<font color="#000000" face="宋体" size="3"> </font><p style="margin: 0cm -15.75pt 0pt; line-height: 24pt; text-indent: 24pt; mso-para-margin-top: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: -1.5gd; mso-para-margin-bottom: .0001pt; mso-para-margin-left: -1.5gd; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><font color="#b06fbb"> 人到中年,思乡之情愈加浓烈。</font></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm -15.75pt 0pt; line-height: 24pt; text-indent: 24pt; mso-para-margin-top: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: -1.5gd; mso-para-margin-bottom: .0001pt; mso-para-margin-left: -1.5gd; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><font color="#b06fbb"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我的故乡在雪峰山下的一个小乡村。毕业后刚参加工作那几年,尽管路途遥远、交通不便,但因对父母的牵挂和思念,逢年过节经常回老家;结婚成家后,因小家庭的牵绊,每年回老家的次数屈指可数;而今,父母都不在了,每年只有清明扫墓或遇红白喜事才回一趟老家,且每次都是形单影只、来去匆匆。</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0cm -15.75pt 0pt; line-height: 24pt; text-indent: 24pt; mso-para-margin-top: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: -1.5gd; mso-para-margin-bottom: .0001pt; mso-para-margin-left: -1.5gd; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><font color="#b06fbb"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></font><font color="#000000"><font color="#b06fbb"><font color="#b06fbb"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">父亲英年早逝,已离开我们近</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">25</span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">年,母亲也去世快</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">3</span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">年了。相比而言,母亲给我的记忆更加深刻而亲切,毕竟父亲刚刚离世后的那几年,母亲用她瘦弱的肩膀扛起了这个家的重量,陪伴、照顾并激励我们三兄妹挺过了那段最艰难、最无奈的日子。</span></font></font></font></p><font color="#000000" face="宋体" size="3"> </font> <font color="#000000" face="宋体" size="3"> </font><p style="margin: 0cm -15.75pt 0pt; line-height: 24pt; text-indent: 24pt; mso-para-margin-top: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: -1.5gd; mso-para-margin-bottom: .0001pt; mso-para-margin-left: -1.5gd; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><font color="#b06fbb"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> 父母在世的时候,</span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">故乡,只因为父母而存在,</span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我可以心安理得的回家,感受家的味道和亲情的温暖,全家人围坐在一起,吃着母亲精心烹炒的乡里土菜,喝着父母亲手酿制的乡里米酒,听着父母絮絮叨叨讲述的乡里趣闻,欢声笑语,其乐融融。而今,父母走了,</span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">父母不在的故乡,就像断了线的风筝,只能眼睁睁看着它远远地飞走,却再也找不回来。</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0cm -15.75pt 0pt; line-height: 24pt; text-indent: 24pt; mso-para-margin-top: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: -1.5gd; mso-para-margin-bottom: .0001pt; mso-para-margin-left: -1.5gd; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><font color="#b06fbb"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span></font><font color="#000000"><font color="#b06fbb"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">父母在,人生尚有来处;父母去,人生只剩归途。现在,</span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">再也没有人,望眼欲穿地盼我回故乡;再也没有人,在我生日的时候打个电话嘘寒问暖;再也没有人,经常向我提及关于故乡的点点滴滴、邻里间的家长里短和田间地头的秋收冬藏。故乡的山、故乡的水、故乡的人,时而清晰,时而模糊,渐行渐远,唯“故乡”两个字仍深深印刻在脑海里,却已失去了往日的温度。</span></font></font><font color="#000000" face="宋体" size="3"> </font></p> <font color="#000000" face="宋体" size="3"> </font><p style="margin: 0cm -15.75pt 0pt; line-height: 24pt; text-indent: 24pt; mso-para-margin-top: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: -1.5gd; mso-para-margin-bottom: .0001pt; mso-para-margin-left: -1.5gd; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><font color="#b06fbb"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> 那栋承载着成长记忆的老屋,已被弟弟新修的小洋楼所替代。</span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">往日越是热热闹闹,如今就越显冷冷清清。</span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">时过境迁,物是人非,没有了父母忙前忙后的身影,只有神龛上他们微笑的遗像,无声地诉说着往日的温情和深切的怀念。记忆中,熟悉的画面,却再也回不到现实中来。以前的我,读不懂余光中的《乡愁》,如今,我终于深深感悟到了“</span><span style="font-family: 楷体; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">后来啊,<em>乡愁</em>是一方矮矮的坟墓,我在外头,母亲在里头。</span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">”里蕴含的淡淡离愁和无言伤痛。</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0cm -15.75pt 0pt; line-height: 24pt; text-indent: 24pt; mso-para-margin-top: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: -1.5gd; mso-para-margin-bottom: .0001pt; mso-para-margin-left: -1.5gd; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><font color="#b06fbb"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span></font><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><font color="#b06fbb">现在每次回故乡,或许是理解我内心深处的落寞、无奈和伤感,又或许是为了让我更真切地感受“回家”的氛围,弟弟和弟媳都设身处地地为我着想,变着花样做我喜欢吃的乡里土菜,咸咸淡淡地陪我聊着村里的家长里短,甚至在得知我即将“回家”的时候,就提前几天将被子被套重新浆洗、翻晒一遍,让我住得舒心、睡得安稳;而且在返程的时候,总会宰杀几只家里喂养的土鸡、土鸭,并且准备一些乡里的土特产,让我带回衡阳。但我心里清楚,回到故乡,我就像一个匆匆过客,一个去走亲戚的人。</font></span><font color="#000000" face="宋体" size="3"> </font></p> <font color="#000000" face="宋体" size="3"> </font><p style="margin: 0cm -15.75pt 0pt; line-height: 24pt; text-indent: 24pt; mso-para-margin-top: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: -1.5gd; mso-para-margin-bottom: .0001pt; mso-para-margin-left: -1.5gd; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><font color="#b06fbb"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> 从前,父母是我联系故乡的纽带,父母离去后,我与老家也基本<span lang="EN-US">“</span>脱节<span lang="EN-US">”</span>了。儿时一起长大的伙伴,已难觅往日的亲近,更多的只是客套和寒暄;老一辈的人,老得我都认不出来了;晚辈们,就更不认得了。我已经很难融入这个生养自己的地方,只能一遍遍地在记忆中,找回那种亲切、那份自如。每次走在父母曾经辛勤耕耘过的田间地头,望着杂草丛生的荒凉景象,触景生情,黯然神伤,</span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">更多的感觉是陌生和疏远。</span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">蓦然回首,陌上已经花落;红尘醒来,缕缕愁绪上心头。</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0cm -15.75pt 0pt; line-height: 24pt; text-indent: 24pt; mso-para-margin-top: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: -1.5gd; mso-para-margin-bottom: .0001pt; mso-para-margin-left: -1.5gd; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><font color="#b06fbb"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> </span></font><font color="#b06fbb"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">如今,妹妹在广州独自经营着两家公司,为生活而努力打拼;弟弟在老家从事教育工作,为教书育人而奔波操劳;我们三兄妹天各一方,聚少离多。前些年,因为母亲的牵连,兄妹之间经常联系交流;而现在,各忙各的事业和家庭,联系和交流日渐稀少,相聚更是一种奢望。“日暮乡关何处是,烟波江上使人愁”,</span><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">在远离故乡的城市生活,明明在嘈杂的人海里,却有一种深入骨髓的孤独,一种难以向人诉说的落寞,于是,越来越怀念故乡,可它却离我越来越远,但又常常出现在我的梦里<span lang="EN-US">……</span>故乡,终是远了;曾经,回不去了。</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0cm -15.75pt 0pt; line-height: 24pt; text-indent: 24pt; mso-para-margin-top: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: -1.5gd; mso-para-margin-bottom: .0001pt; mso-para-margin-left: -1.5gd; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><font color="#b06fbb"><span style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span></font><font color="#b06fbb"><span style='font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;'><font color="#000000"><font color="#b06fbb">故乡,秋色清浅,往后余生,有你心安。寒灯纸上,桂花雨凉,思念,一年又一年......</font></font></span></font></p> <font color="#b06fbb">本文部分图片来自网络,一并致谢!</font>