龙风东南文学公众号个人作品搬运

秦蓉蓉

<p class="ql-block">&nbsp;各位诗友们好,自进入龙风一直都有很多美好的回忆,今天起我把自己以前的作品汇编一起,感谢那些美好的时光。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">东南分院第五期集训群第一课</p><p class="ql-block">(我发的教材是曲度教材精编二,教材一的连接),希望大家努力很进,加油![咖啡][玫瑰]</p><p class="ql-block">10.4第十一节课</p><p class="ql-block">【诗词课程十一】&nbsp;曲度六言绝律诗谱</p><p class="ql-block">曲度六言绝律基本四式(曲度近体诗谱)</p><p class="ql-block">--------------------------------------------</p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;正格原型四式&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">---------------------------------------------</p><p class="ql-block">1.基式仄起仄收(2.4押韵)--&gt;原式衍生(1.2.4押韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp;仄仄平平仄仄&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平平(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平仄&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄平(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">2.基式平起平收(2.4押韵)--&gt;原式衍生(1.2.4押韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平平&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄仄&nbsp;&nbsp;(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄平&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平仄&nbsp;&nbsp;(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">3.基式仄起平收(2.4押韵)--&gt;原式衍生(1.2.4押韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄平&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平仄&nbsp;(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平平&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄仄(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">4.基式平起仄收(2.4押韵)--&gt;原式衍生(1.2.4押韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平仄&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄平&nbsp;(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄仄&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平平&nbsp;(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">(摘自曲度六言近体诗谱)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">*****************************************************&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp;六绝一组四首(按曲度六言绝律近体诗谱)</p><p class="ql-block">文/华斌</p><p class="ql-block">藏中诗.六绝.龙凤吉祥</p><p class="ql-block">出海龙腾万里,</p><p class="ql-block">飞天凤舞千秋。</p><p class="ql-block">诗琴吉气常在,</p><p class="ql-block">书画祥风久悠。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">藏尾诗.六绝.龙凤迎送</p><p class="ql-block">文飘海内寻龙,</p><p class="ql-block">赋荡天涯觅凤。</p><p class="ql-block">天上诗仙贺迎,</p><p class="ql-block">人间画圣欢送。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">双头式.六绝.龙风非梦</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">龙历风雷变龙,</p><p class="ql-block">凤经云雨成凤。</p><p class="ql-block">非陈旧论无非,</p><p class="ql-block">梦赐新经未梦。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">藏头诗.六绝.风雷震荡</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">风云愿伴龙舞,</p><p class="ql-block">雷雨甘随凤游。</p><p class="ql-block">震率延伸赤县,</p><p class="ql-block">荡波牵涉全球。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">D.QU.&nbsp;&nbsp;IN&nbsp;PARIS</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">2016.12.15</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">东南分院第五期集训群第一次作业</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">六绝八首,主题自定,诗谱如下:</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">按曲度六言绝律近体诗谱平韵式四首:</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">1..基式仄起仄收(2.4押韵)-</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp;仄仄平平仄仄,&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平平。对(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平仄,&nbsp;粘&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄平。对(韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">2..基式平起仄收(2.4押韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平仄,&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄平&nbsp;。对(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄仄&nbsp;&nbsp;,粘&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平平&nbsp;,对(韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">3基式仄起平收(1.2.4韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄平, &nbsp;(韵)</p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平平。对(韵)</p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平仄,粘</p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄平。对(韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">4.基式平起平收(1.2.4韵.)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平平, &nbsp;(韵)</p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄平。对(韵)</p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄仄,粘</p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平平。对(韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">按曲度六言绝律近体诗谱仄韵式四首</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">1.基式平起平收(2.4押韵)-</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平平,&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄仄。对&nbsp;&nbsp;(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄平&nbsp;,粘&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平仄&nbsp;。对&nbsp;(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">2..基式仄起平收(2.4押韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄平&nbsp;&nbsp;,&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平仄。对&nbsp;(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平平,粘&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄仄。&nbsp;对&nbsp;(韵)&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">3.&nbsp;基式平起仄收&nbsp;(1.2.4押韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平仄,(韵)</p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄仄。对(韵)</p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄平,粘</p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平仄。对(韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">4.基式仄起仄收(1.2.4押韵)&nbsp;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄仄,&nbsp;(韵)</p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平仄。对(韵)</p><p class="ql-block">平平仄仄平平,粘</p><p class="ql-block">仄仄平平仄仄。对(韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">学号:L18-CF028</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">学员:秦蓉蓉</p><p class="ql-block">曲度六言绝律近体诗谱平韵式四首</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">1,基式仄起仄收(2,4韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">归鸟(十灰)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">浩月当空似水,停风小鸟才回。</p><p class="ql-block">林中一片和气,剪下诗笺两枚。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">2,基式平起仄收(2,4韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">结伴(十三元)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">依偎月下眠枕,冷暖知心自跟。</p><p class="ql-block">结发仙妻当爱,人生结伴成婚。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">3,基式仄起平收(1,2,4韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">独守(十一真)</p><p class="ql-block">暗自沉思一人,真心看破红尘。</p><p class="ql-block">伊人四季无语,独守家园楚秦。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">4,基式平起平收式(1,2,4韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">观(十四寒)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">谁寻独自清观,九教旁边亦叹。</p><p class="ql-block">暗影心魔几载,风清月影凭栏。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">曲度六言绝律近体诗谱仄韵式四首</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">1,基式平起平收(2,4韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">小丑(去声四置)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">微微一笑天然,小丑刚刚隐泪。</p><p class="ql-block">面具难离硬心,伤情默默游戏。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">2,基式仄起平收(2,4韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">论(十四愿)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">十里桃花落身,前生几世离恨。</p><p class="ql-block">痴心放下瑶琴,浅浅柔声辩论。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">3,基式平起仄收(1,2,4韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">焚香(十一队)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">冰心苦泪阿妹,寂夜焚香半壁。</p><p class="ql-block">冷月听禅漫回,风来倦染环佩。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">4,基式仄起仄收(1,2,4韵)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">芙蕖(七遇)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">玉片凭栏论错,风行水起添趣。</p><p class="ql-block">芙蕖不语天真,自得流年锦句。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">谭立华批注</p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp;总评:&nbsp;从本次学员提交的作品(六绝八首作业)总体上看,各位学员的汉语言文字文学功底较深,有一定的文化基础和语言表达能力,社会阅历和社会实践知识丰富,有一定的文学艺术潜质,所提交的六言绝律作品,绝大多数符合格律诗词要求,平仄对粘押韵均合律,主题鲜明,内容表达新颖,充分显现时代特征,体现传播正能量,起承转合应用恰当。这充分说明各位学员通过各分院教学,基本掌握了格律诗词基本理论和写作方法,通过集训学习,知识更加全面。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">不足之处:</p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp; 1.学员们忙于应付较多的作业任务,作品质量还有待提高(包括我),在文字的意象表达方面还不够精练;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp; &nbsp; 2.创作作品时,在引经据典方面做得不够,使作品内容浅显缺乏深意,还需要在这方面加强学习;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp; &nbsp; 3.虽然绝句不强调上句与下句之间必须对仗,但若用词性对仗手法创作会更显文采;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp; &nbsp;4.极少数学员在创作作品时,对“通”字(多音多义字)掌握的不够全面,往往会造成平仄混淆或不押韵现象;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp; &nbsp;5.少数学员.对古平今仄或古仄今平的字把握的不够准确,导致平仄对粘出律,建议对拿不准的字词多在字词典或网上查找确认;</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp; &nbsp;6.少数学员急于按时提交作业,而忽视了对自己的作品进行全面检测,希望下次在提交作业作品之前,对每一首作品进行认真检测后再提交。,尽可能减少遗憾,提高写作质量水平。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">本次批注和点评不到之处或有错误的地方请批评指正,仅供参考。有则改之无则加勉,目的只有一个:共同学习,共同提高。</p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp;评卷人:谭立华</p><p class="ql-block">&nbsp;20128.6.12日</p>