<p>7. My Lovely Wife has has the perfect sense of humor.</p><p>If you meet me you will think I'm the funny one, but I know better. She appreciates my sense of humor but she is the perfect match. She always gets my jokes, and appreciates them. But she is very fast and witty, so her responses are usually funnier than the joke I made in the first place. True story: I did stand-up comedy in clubs back in the day. Anyone who understands comedy well knows that the "straight man" part is much more challenging than being the "funny one".</p><p>Bonus: when she quotes an old joke I made, it ALWAYS sounds better coming out of her mouth. No exceptions.</p><p>8. She is a very fun person to do "boring" things with.</p><p>We love to talk about all kinds of things. There is never enough time for us to trade ideas and consider matters we haven't thought enough about. The more boring a thing we have to do, the more fun it ends up. Many of our best times have been driving to the store, going on long road trips, sitting in a park feeding ducks, waiting for food to be served at a restaurant, or walking around anyplace we can talk. She is always interesting. She always goes deep, and is very often surprising. But you knew that already.</p><p>9. She makes fun of Chinese people. Guess who has to defend them?</p><p>Long before I was friends with any Chinese people I admired them as a group. They came to America and suffered so much to make their children successful, while beating us at our own game. You have to respect that. I have never known anyone from China on welfare, but half the people I grew up with are still on it. She is different from most Chinese people, and is impatient with some of their ways of thinking. If she weren't Chinese you'd say she sounded racist, but you'd also be laughing your ass off. So I end up defending them. At this point it's become a family joke. My kids call me an egg because I'm white on the outside and yellow on the inside. </p><p>10. She's more white than I am in some ways, and I am more Chinese than she is in some ways.</p><p>My Lovely Wife is very much an individual, and doesn't care what other people think about that. I tend to me more respectful of authority and I try harder to fit in. She can be a little disinterested in people. I am extremely polite. She is pretty lazy. I work much harder than I need to. She is a very very fast learner. I have to work extremely hard to learn anything so I study a lot, even now. She is also very private so I can't talk about some of the other differences, but rest assured it's pretty weird and amusing sometimes. I read Mao's Red Book decades before I met her. She still hasn't. My favorite sculptures have always been the clay soldiers of Emperor Qin's army. Seeing a few of them when they toured the USA was as important to me as seeing the Louvre was to her. Maybe more. I have studied them for decades. It was one of the great experience in my life as an art lover. I still think about them often.</p><p>11. She is as beautiful as a movie star and doesn't care.</p><p>For as long as I have known her I have had a schoolboy crush on her. Part of the reason is that she is impossibly beautiful. The closest I can come to explaining it is that she is like a Chinese Julia Roberts. Great hair, pearly pink skin, wonderful tiny nose, bone structure forever. Her hair is perfect, a lustrous black silk curtain that still makes me stop short in wonder every time I see it. Every time. When you see her without glasses on she has a timeless beauty and power that reminds me of the faces of the Qin army, which to me are the most vivid, lively statues anywhere. When I look at her it feels to me that I am looking at a special creature that belongs to the ages, not just some old white nerd in the suburbs. I've seen the Mona Lisa and the Mona Lisa didn't move me in the slightest. It's just the opposite with My Lovely Wife.</p><p>I am also obsessed with her ready smile and the deepest dimples you have ever seen. Her smile lights up the room. It enchants everyone. The dimples come out when she is thinking, and sometimes I just touch them because they are so adorable. That's probably bad but she puts up with it. When we lie down together she often catches me just staring in wonder. It can't be fun but she puts up with that too. Yes, I pretty much stalk my own wife. I'm not proud of it.</p><p>She doesn't care about her looks. She never wears makeup, but of course she doesn't need to. Her natural coloring is exactly what movie stars try to achieve when they sit in makeup hours at a time to look casually gorgeous. The only thing she does to get ready when we go out is to comb her hair a little.</p><p>I could write another 11 of these but I'll be lucky if she publishes half of these.</p>